Baseball Armageddon: Yankees-Red Sox: Vol. 106. Part 1.

 

It's The Thinking Man's Baseball Rivalry. F%#k Boston!!!! Whoooo!!!!

It’s October in April again. But enough about Pirates-Padres. Let’s see if we can’t find some actual meaning in the latest edition of Yanks-Sawks which commences tonight at Fenway. You know, besides the fact that the fans have been known to have a few niggling disagreements through the years.

In general, April baseball doesn’t matter unless you start 0-20. To wit, the Outsider dismissed early season Yanks-Sawks matchups regardless of outcome. Until 2007 that is.

It was in April of ’07 you recall that Boston not only pulled a three game sweep at the Fens but did so by erasing a 6-2 eighth inning deficit in the opener in part against Mariano Rivera and by blasting four consecutive fourth inning homers off the unfortunate Chase Wright in the finale (No footage available due to territorial restrictions).

What happened thereafter. The Yankees bounced back, but Boston never looked back in taking the division, then going on to win the World Series. Chase Wright’s big league career was essentially over before it began.

No one will win the division this weekend in Beantown, but there is an outside chance that someone could lose it.

(Photo:YankeesDaily)

NBA Playoff Snap Judgments

 

 

Where's Rondo? I Don't Recall Seeing Any Of These Guys In Game 1.

Let’s be rational and make some ridiculous, over-the-top snap judgments based on one game of a few NBA Playoff series. ‘Cause it’s what the proper journalists do.

Bulls-Celtics: Boston will be OK in this series over the course of seven games. Derrick Rose’s afternoon of insanity was indeed a breakthrough of sorts but he’s not ready to sustain that level over the course of the whole series. The Leprechauns’ main concern has to be Ray Allen’s latest first round disappearing act. Look for him to get his act together this time and the Midsize Three of Pierce, Allen and Rondo to squeeze into Round 2.

76ers-Magic: No need for panic here either for the higher seed, but this was the more worrysome game 1 upset in the East. Your biggest blown lead of the season is not the way to start a playoff push. The Sixers’ balanced attack made it feel like an 8 on 1 (guess who) at times down the stretch. Game 2 is a must win for Orlando.

Mavs-Spurs: I’ll believe it when San Antonio is actually eliminated, but was that ever a role reversal. Tony Parker’s 2nd half struggles are concern enough for San Antone on top of the injury woes, but who on earth expected Dallas to, you know, actually show up for the first round.

Rockets-Blazers: In this case the higher seed should indeed panic. The Rockets have made doubters like me look like idiots all year and despite their sorry recent history this would not be an upset.

Video- Grad Student Chooses SBU Over Private School..

Your intrepid blogger recently picked up a camera and tried his hand at some video journalism about something other than sports. Trial and error, kids, trial and error. The concept was to find a student with an interesting background who chose to attend Stony Brook over a private school in keeping with the increasing popularity of state schools. A major thank you is in order to all who participated in this bold experiment in something that vaguely resembles an internet news/profile kinda thing.

MLB ’09: The NL West

Great Moments In Baseball History: Manny Puts His Grill On EBay

The Loyal Order of the East Coast Bias maintains that we discuss the West last. Besides, all of these teams play their home games well after my bedtime.

1. Los Angeles Dodgers- Top to bottom the lineup is the deepest in the National League (the Mets are stronger 1 to 5) but an iffy rotation and an even iffier bullpen will keep this division tighter than many in the punditry expect.

2. Arizona Diamondbacks- Does anyone else want to pick  the rest of this division for me? I’m not sure I’d know who Chad Qualls was if he came up to me wearing a nametag that read “Hi. My name is Chad Qualls.” Of course, Chad Qualls would have no idea who I was if I came up to him carrying a giant sign that read “Hi. My name is Dennis and I write a dumb sports blog.”

3. San Francisco Giants- Randy Johnson brings the sunshine to the Bay Area. After five months of watching Barry Zito, Giants fans will be in a similarly jovial mood.

4. Colorado Rockies- Given what’s happened to this team since, it’s only a matter of time before the month of October sues the Rockies for defamation of character for all that “Rocktober” nonsense two years ago. Obviously, the month of October is really just a human idea. It has no legal rights. I think I was trying to make a joke there. Mental note: lack of knowledge about subject+lack of material-=poor blog entry.

5. San Diego Padres- Jody Gerut will be the answer to many trivia questions. Spoiling the Mets’ opener at Bailout Field will be the high point of the Padres’ season.

MLB ’09: The NL Central

No Caption Necessary, Really.

The original plan was to drag the preseason predictions out into the postseason, thus making it much easier to make predictions. However, the allure of the NL Central proved too much to resist. How bad is this division? The Cubbies will win it for the third year in a row. That pretty much says it all.

1. Chicago Cubs- Should be in cruise control by mid-August, creating a false sense of hope amongst the Wrigleyville faithful that will make the inevitable October flameout all the more soul crushing.

2. St. Louis Cardinals- Well, of course, Chris Carpenter is injured. Even without him, the Cards are no worse off than they were a year ago. Relative to the rest of this division, that counts as a massive upgrade.

3. Milwaukee Brewers- Yovani Gallardo could win 20 games, Ryan Braun and Prince Fielder could rip 100 homers between them and the Brew Crew still won’t get even a whiff of the playoff run of a year ago. They will, however, produce plenty of whiffs themselves. Still, that’s not the main reason why Bernie Brewer won’t be around in October. Why, then? Jeff Suppan, Manny Parra, Braden Looper and Dave Bush. That’s why.

4. Cincinnati Reds- Here’s a baseball team preview that contains no actual discussion of baseball. Instead, enjoy a random sampling of some cermonial first pitches from Opening Days around the bigs. Rangers- George W. Bush. Orioles- Joe Biden, Red Sox- Edward Kennedy and Jim Rice, Mets- Tom Seaver and Mike Piazza, Reds- Nick Lachey.

5. Houston Astros- The back-end of Houston’s rotation makes Milwaukee’s look formidable. But how nice of the Astros to provide a retirement home for Mike Hampton and Russ Ortiz. Wait. They actually want them to pitch. Man, it is getting tough to retire in this economy.

6. Pittsburgh Pirates- The Steelers open the season on Sept. 10 against the Titans. Don’t worry Pittsburgh, the Penguins and some meaningless preseason football friendlies will tide you over till then. If that’s not enough, you could try for an NBA team. 

(Photo: cantstopthebleeding.com)

MLB ’09: The NL East

Mr. Met Experiences A Change of Fortune.

The above photo just cries out for a caption contest. Of course, to have a caption contest, one needs actual readers. Oh well, more Pointless Pennant Predictions then. On to the Senior Circuit.

1. New York Mets- The Mutts (their alter egos) coughed up the NL East (again) to the eventual World Champs thanks to one of the leakiest pens in the league. Now they’re playing a 7 inning game on most nights. So fine is the line between chokers and champs. 1 to 5, the lineup is perhaps the NL’s best and Johan Santana is poised for a Cy Young season. They do need one more arm for the rotation. That need will be adressed at the deadline, the title drought will be taken care of in October. 

2. Philadelphia Phillies- The defending Champs did little right or wrong in the offseason, adding Raul Ibanez to the title winning nucleus of a year ago. The Mets did just enough in upgrading to pass them by. Out of curiosity, I asked a Philly fan to comment on this. His thoughts: “F#%! you, you f*&!ing New York motherf#$&*r.” It did little good trying to explain I was a Yankee fan once he took note of my Giants t-shirt. “We’ll f^#^ up the Mets like we f#$%ed up your f*%#!ng Giants. Then we’ll beat the $%!# out of your F#%&in’ Yankees in the Series, but first I’m going to f#%k you up for making that pick,” he added. At that point I bid him good day and took my leave. Jolly fellow.

3. Atlanta Braves- Nothing in the rotation to scare you, really, after Derek Lowe. The Tom Glavine acquisition was a classic case of sentiment trumping reason and there may not be a 25 home run hitter in the lineup. Still, they’ll be in the race until early to mid September. Why? Cause Bobby Cox said so, that’s why.

4. Florida Marlins- 1997…2003…2009? Is  there an every six year pattern emerging here. There’s a ton of young talent here both at the plate and on the mound. The problem for the Marlins’ 47 loyal followers is that by the time all that young talent is ready to win a championship, it’ll be in another uniform. If the Fish hang in the race as long as Atlanta, Hanley Ramirez is your NL MVP.

5. Washington Nationals- Federal Project. Instead of blowing the team up and starting over in the offseason, they added Adam Dunn and a handful of other retreads to the roster. That’s the kind of Washington logic that has served the economy so well in recent years.

Photo: LIweddings.com…Seriously…Mr. Met does weddings at $500 an hour. Oh, Mets fans, don’t ever change.

MLB ’09: The AL West

Nick Adenhart 1986-2009

Personally, there is something sobering to read or hear about the death of someone who is essentially a contemporary in age. Sobering, though, doesn’t remotely begin to describe the experience of losing a son or daughter. Yet, that’s what Nick Adenhart’s parents and those of the other victims in Thursday morning’s accident in Fullerton are having to deal with right now. I believe I speak for every baseball fan around the globe when I say our thoughts and prayers are with them.

1. Los Angeles Angels- Despite losing two of the three most prized free agents on the market in the offseason, their depth still makes them the team to beat in this division. Brian Fuentes will prove to be a downgrade from K-Rod. How much of a downgrade will be key in determining just how far the Angels go.

2. Oakland Athletics- The gap is closing and it says here that it is only a matter of time before the balance of power on the Left Coast swings back to the Bay Area. When the shift occurs is contingent on how quickly the plethora of young arms in Oakland develop. Justin Duchsherer, Brad Ziegler and Joey Devine all had breakouts of sorts last year but there is a small army in waiting behind them. ETA 2010.

3. Texas Rangers- The Rangers could desperately use some young arms. Fortunately, they have a couple in Neftali Feliz and Derek Holland. Unfortunately, they’re a little too green to start the season in the bigs and by the time they’re ready for late season call ups, the present rotation will have irreparably damaged Texas’ postseason hopes for another year.

4. Seattle Mariners- Like many a sports fan, this blog was in no mood to make a funny today. Fortunately, the Mariners offseason moves were so comically inept they provided the laughs for me. You’re in desperate need of a rebuild after a 100-loss season, but instead of starting over you elect to haul Mike Sweeney, Russell Branyan, and Franklin Gutierrez in off the scrap heap. Um, OK.

MLB ’09: The AL Central

The Outsider’s Favorite Manager Is A Passionate Man. It Is His Son, You Know.

The 2009 AL Central is the very definition of mediocrity. As such, all 5 teams will finish with identical 81-81 records. The following reflects the results of a complicated series of one game playoffs, arm-wrestling contests and, finally, an epic game of Rock-Paper-Scissors to determine the Division champion.

1. Minnesota Twins- The Twinkies hopes of going one game better than last year’s tiebreaker defeat to the White Sox will rest largely on the ability of Francisco Liriano to recapture the form that made him an ace-in-waiting behind Johan Santana two seasons ago and the ability of someone other than Justin Morneau and Joe Mauer to provide meaningful production at the top of the order. Denard Span may prove to be the answer.

2. Kansas City Royals- Hey, I’m on the wagon for a reason this year. There’s a ton of young talent here (Zack Grienke, Luke Hochevar, Billy Butler, Alex Gordon) that seems poised to break out and a few names that got a head start with stellar ’08 campaigns (David DeJesus, Joakim Soria). The free agent pickups were a mixed bag, though. Coco Crisp should love the less confusing confines of Kauffman after his stint at Fenway. Mike Jacobs is a question mark, while Kyle Farnsworth is always on the brink of a game-killing implosion.

3. Chicago White Sox- On paper it seems like they should repeat but they may be caught in a Catch-22 that sees too many veterans (Dye, Thome, Konerko, Pierzynski, Contreras) on the downside and not enough young players ready to pick up the slack. Will need big years from Gavin Floyd and John Danks. Bartolo Colon is not the answer. Unless, of course, the question is about dieting.

4. Cleveland Indians- Speaking of guys on the downside, what the hell happened to Travis Hafner. Pronk didn’t so much as decline as disappear last year. Cliff Lee’s Cy Young season was a shot from out of the blue and they still weren’t a factor in an average division. They’ll need lots of renaissance years to get back to the postseason. Still, in this division it’s not impossible.

5. Detroit Tigers- Now that the good vibes from Michigan State’s NCAA run are well and truly over,it’s back to reality in the Motor City. It’s not the economy, stupid. In this case, it’s the Tigers. Last year’s edition was supposed to be the greatest hitting team of all time. They weren’t, but they still managed 821 runs. The problem. Everyone forgot how to pitch and field. Always a minor nuisance when trying to build a successful baseball team.

MLB ’09 Pointless Pennant Predictions: The AL East

In Case You Haven' t Heard, Dustin Pedroia Can't Hit the High, Inside Fastball.

Since the NCAA Tournament pick business on this site was such a success, let’s see if the Outsider can’t put the blessing or curse on a few baseball seasons. For those of you who doubt the mystical powers of this pathetic sports blog, I suggest you contact Mr. Calipari. The heartbreak induced by this site’s bad vibes will last a lifeti…Eh? Oh.

Let Us Start the Carnage With The AL East.

1. Boston Red Sox- The Sawks were thisclose a year ago to pulling another postseason Lazarus act and winning a third title in five years despite a subpar Josh Beckett, an injured David Ortiz, and the Manny mess. Ortiz may never regain his ’04-’07 form, but the other problems won’t be a factor this year. If either Brad Penny or, later on, John Smoltz are merely serviceable in the five spot and Jason Bay doesn’t sprout waist length dreadlocks overnight, they’ll edge the toughest division in pro sports and make it three AL Pennants in six.

2. New York Yankees(wildcard)- Just as a lot of things will have to go wrong for the Red Sox not to make the postseason, a lot of things will have to come together just right for the Pinstripers to restore the natural order in the East. Fortunately, most of the new pieces will fit. Mark Teixeira was the free agent pickup of the offseason. AJ Burnett will stay in one piece for most of the year and CC Sabathia will take some of the burden off a questionable bullpen by leading the league in innings pitched.

3. Tampa Bay Rays- The 2005 White Sox. The ’06 Cardinals and Tigers. The ’07 Rockies, Diamondbacks and Indians. Remember what happened the following year? The fall won’t be so precipitous for this year’s Rays, but being the team in the cross-hairs of the Sawks and Yanks, is an unenviable position indeed. Look for one or two members of  the young rotation to struggle at times. That will make all the difference in a division where a 90-win season will be rewarded with 3rd place.

4. Toronto Blue Jays- Some unsolicited advice for Cito Gaston. Throw Roy Halladay on three days rest, disconnect all of the wiring to whatever runs the retractable roof in the building formerly known as SkyDome, then do a rain dance. Enjoy your Division Title. What? You’ve got a better idea?

5. Baltimore Orioles- The punditry informs us that the farm system is stocked. When your idea of big free agent signings are Mark Hendrickson and Adam Eaton, it can’t be deep enough.

(Photo:Projo.com)

The Elite Eight: No More Predictions.

Can You Say Sponsorship Opportunity?

 

LRO: Is your bracket an embarrassment?

Coach Calipari: Are there numbers on the scoresheet that are threatening to take away your hard earned title of defensive guru?

(Enter Coach Calhoun, putting an arm around Coach Calipari): Tough luck, John. But luck is always on your side with a USB Shredder. Just as it slices and dices brackets and boxscores, it shreds right through any incriminating recruiting documents that might be lying around like it was AJ Price cutting up John’s overrated team.

Together: When your reputation is on the line, you need a reliable USB Paper Shredder. It’s the NCAA shredder of choice.

Voiceover: Available at Staples. Losing Your Bracket Wager. That Was Easy.

Possibly Coming Soon: The rest of the delightful LRO Paper Shredder Ad Series, starring one or more of the following distinguished coaches: Jamie Dixon (see last entry and Villanova performances against Duke & UCLA), Rick Pitino (because Sparty already ruined things once) and Roy Williams (Blake Griffin. Also, Ol’ Roy’s folksy talk is a wonderful way to hawk paper shredders to small children.)